Tomorrow Mercury becomes the 5th planet to transit retrograde joining Saturn, Pluto, Neptune and Jupiter. We are going through a lot right now and many of our foundations are being shaken. Deeper truths and imbalances are being revealed in order to be healed.
We are being called to find the blessings in the lessons. We are being guided to go inward and spend time in reflection. It might be summer, but know this – school is in session!
Today I realize that in less than a week I will be celebrating one complete year of new eating habits, a year of cellular cleansing and improving my overall wellbeing with nutrition.
As I approach the anniversary, I reflect on where I’ve been and where I currently am. Physically, I feel strong. Amazing, actually. I’m started focusing more on building strength in my arms.
My mind is sharper, the spirit messages are clearer, I don’t get drained after doing spiritual work like I used to, my overall energy feels more balanced and strong. My dreams are more vibrant.
I have also released 78 lbs and SO MANY INCHES from my body. But in all honesty, it’s hard not to judge my former self when I look at the numbers – and the photos.
I don’t want to judge myself at any stage of my process. I choose to love myself across every threshold. And I am here to help inspire others do the same.
In the nutritional cleansing community there is something called the “100 Pound Club”. Apparently individuals who have released in excess of 100 lbs are celebrated for their successful weight loss and are recognized publicly.
Magazines like People and internet companies like Yahoo have done articles on my teammates who have achieved such goals.
Recently someone brought it up that I should look into the “100 Pound Club” so I could be celebrated. After all, it’s just about 22 lbs away.
I felt major resistance to the idea the moment it was mentioned. I didn’t want to be a part of that club. I feel very fragile right now regarding body image. I am still emerging and not wanting to be ‘cast’ into any role. I recognized this as fear working through me.
Shadow work, time…
I grabbed my smoky quartz.
A loving reminder from my Spirit allies:
“There is nothing wrong with you. You are an amazing source of inspiration with the power to uplift many in this world. Don’t dim your light because ghostly thought forms are coming up from your past as you release the old weight. This is an opportunity to let go. Don’t let fear keep you from crossing this threshold. There is no need to carry it with you where you are going next. Set yourself free.”
I don’t like identifying with a number on a scale. Mostly because it connects me to a culture that focuses on looks and not on health. And that kind of energy makes me more likely to judge and criticize how I look, distracting me from how good I feel – actually causing me to feel BAD.
I’ve decided that a healthier perspective for me is to see how I feel when I get under 25% BMI and then reassess from there. Perhaps I keep the actual number of pounds release veiled for a while and stop talking – at least for me – about numbers on a scale.
If a special number comes along on the way and a celebration comes with it, blessed be. But the number on the scale does not define me. It’s just data I am logging for this beautiful life experiment.
It’s so much easier celebrating other people on this journey. I don’t necessarily enjoy being in the ‘public eye’. But I also know I can’t hide away and play small anymore. Spirit has already told me this and I agree.
This is so much more than just a weight loss transformation. I am so much more than just a physical being. So much more inspiration is flowing through me these days. I am detangling from so much and releasing the past – one pound at a time. I bless and release the emotional weight, as well.
I have transformed spiritually, mentally, emotionally and I am physically shape-shifting. I’m doubling down on the self-love. I’m going to look for positive affirmations about body positivity. I may be inspired to craft a rhyming charm about this….
And I realize with all of this that I’ve got some issues about attention. About being seen and being judged. About the lack of control one has when they are in the ‘public eye’. Sure, I’ve got memories of being burned as a witch. And I already did work to resolve those issues.
However, I realize now that this is coming up because I AM JUDGING MYSELF.
And I need to let that shit go.
My Spiritual Council guides me/us:
“Unplug from the judgments. Those thoughts are not yours to hold onto anymore. They are old programs and are connected to a frequency you are no longer attracted to. Write down the negative thought patterns as you become aware of them. Reframe them by restating them in a new way. Use your loving alchemy to transform those negative thoughts into positive statements of power! Keep these positive affirmations in a place where you can see them and re-mind yourself every day.”